nada.

when im here i dont make my own decisions. all i do is try and make it day to day without cracking.

im not one to ask for rescuing, but i need it. i need holding and hugging and something i know isnt going to just die. i hate that i only feel safe with you. and i hate that i understand everything. and i hate how im not able to emotionally allow you what you need. i hate that im not independent and strong and unfazed.

i hate that you cant help me, even if you wanted.

im so tired.

home again, sobfest

i miss you.

about to puke the entire contents of my stomach hoping some of this sad shit comes up with it.

i didnt puke once with you. didnt even think about it.

im crying.

i always cry.

im sick of crying.