psych.

just when you gave up hope, swallowed your pride and owned up to every weak, senseless emotion you'd ever had you get an inch of rope. maybe one night was all i deserve. maybe i was drunk, or you were drunk, or it was an inevitability. either way, for one night i idiotically believed that this once, i did something that in the grand scheme of things was right.

wrong.

i don't know why i blindly love you, why i'd rather die slowly than pull the trigger. but only when it comes to you. please don't lie to yourself. if you are happy, genuinely happy, don't convince yourself the opposite. just because i know my feelings, my truth, and those feelings' consequences doesn't mean you must sell your soul as well. i've made my bed. i will lie in it, and i don't expect to wake up.

not if this is what i wake up to.

the same. the world moving uninterrupted. the secrets that are soon overshadowed by dawn's sobriety. secrets that become mine alone, because i am the one left soaking in them.

not a thing will come of this.

i knew. i knew.

i.

knew.