Thursday, March 31, 2011

isitbadionlyfeelsafeinthebathroom?

lock the door, run the water-
(puke/cut)bubble bath
.loud
steady
stream
of
white
noise.
hot, hotter, hottest-
my body emerges red and scalded.

sometimes i just sob.
choosing.
the tub, toilet, tub.

i cant even get in.
i dont want to get undressed.
im scared of what i'd do to myself,
seeing me that way.

this is the closest to safety i know.
safety:
when you're the only thing killing you.



I spend a lot of time on the bathroom floor.


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