Thursday, March 24, 2011

.maybe you can.

it took me ten minutes to stop throwing up after my stomach dropped.
i was getting ready to sleep.
managed to tightly curl up, like thatd keep what needed to stay inside trapped.
i think my heart stopped for a second.
like what?
i dont know, but my stomach turned.
and i ran, and my head started hurting, but i made it.
i cried. and i got frustrated.
and i puked, and cried, and dry heaved.
i thought i got it.
so i tried to find it.
my hands shake too much.
i got there, but i started sobbing and wanted to throw up again.
i keep mixing my feelings.
im pissed.
i cry like a bitch when i want to take a hammer to someone's head.
if you can imagine.
anger and worry, love and confusion, and emptiness and sadness and anxiety.

i cant see it.
i wont see that.

i suppose im a weak person.
i care too much to shut down.






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